Girl Talk
by Beagairbheag
Summary: Lindsay and Stella have a talk about whats going on.  Set around Silent Night with implied DL.  Reviews appreciated.


My first CSI NY fic but hopefully not my last. My muse has been caught up in this show for the last couple of weeks and I've got plot bunnies jumping out my head.

Let me know what you think. Personally, I think I'll have to work on the characters and, as usual, my grammer.

* * *

"Cheers" she said, accepting the cup of hot coffee from Stella as the older woman took a seat in opposite side of the booth in the small café.

The coffee was strong and hot but it did little to ward off the chill that had settled somewhere within Lindsay. She took a sip out of her cup before setting it down on the table, turning her gaze to stare out of the window.

Stella watched her young college from through her eyelashes as she took a drink of her coffee, unsure how to start the conversation. The conversation that they needed to have.

"I never thought they'd get him" Lindsay said suddenly as she continued to watch out of the window.

Stella sat her cup down, her attention fully focused on the young CSI sitting across from her.

"I mean ten years is a long time. He skipped town right after it happened. Probably was out of the state within a day"

Stella saw Lindsay drift off, the traffic in the street outside passing by without her noticing.

"How'd they catch him?" she enquired quietly.

Lindsay sighed.

"Finger Prints. DNA. It was only just becoming a crime fighting tool and as soon as the courts had declared it viable, they had the stuff tested. Now all he had to do was commit another crime"

"What did he do?"

"He got picked up for a DUI in Vegas. Popped right up in CODIS and they held him"

Lindsay withdrew her gaze from the street. After a quick glance at Stella, her gaze dropped again to her rapidly cooling cup of coffee. Picking up a spoon, she began to stir it, watching the swirls of froth go round and round.

"I know I probably wont find out," Lindsay began, dropping the spoon "But I really want to know why"

"Why what?" Stella asked, placing her hands on the cup in front of her, drawing from its warmth.

"Why he shot them"

Stella was silent for a moment.

"Did they have a motive?" she asked

Lindsay shook her head and ran her hand through her hair.

"The money was still in the till, he didn't have any connections to any of us and he hadn't been in town long enough to create any grudges"

"So, it was totally unprovoked"

Lindsay nodded, "That's what makes it worse". Tears gathered in her eyes and she swiped at them angrily. She was crying way too much these days, it had to stop.

"You should tell Mac" Stella said, reaching her hands across the table to grasp Lindsay's tightly, showing her support.

"He already knows," she said, bowing her head. She looked at Stella through her hair that had fallen across her face "You think something like that isn't in my file?" a small smile on her face.

Stella sighed and raked her eyes over the woman sitting in front of her. This wasn't the same Lindsay was had joined their team over a year ago, hell this wasn't the same Lindsay as last week. Stella berated herself for failing to notice the bags under her eyes and Lindsay's pale complexion.

"Look. I'm sorry I was short with you today" she said as Lindsay shook her head fiercely

"No Stel, it was what I needed" Lindsay said, pulling a hand from Stella's to wipe away a tear that had escaped from her eye and was making its way down her cheek. "I've needed to get it off my chest for a while now"

"How long have to known?"

"A couple of months" Lindsay admitted, ducking her head.

"Lindsay!" Stella gently scolded.

"I know. But I didn't want to deal with it before I had to. I finally felt part of the team and things where going well. I didn't want to mess it all up."

Stella contemplated her next question before asking it, chewing ever so slightly on her bottom lip.

"This have anything to do with, why you and Danny have been a bit…off with each other?"

"Kind of"

"What happened?"

Lindsay mumbled something, looking down at her, now cold, cup of coffee.

"Sorry?" Stella said, leaning in.

Lindsay sighed, avoiding Stella's enquiring gaze "I stood him up"

The elder CSI blinked once, twice, before her eyes seemed to grow in size.

"Stood him up?" she asked, "As in a date?"

Lindsay closed her eyes and nodded, finally removing before hands from Stella's and rubbing them across her face. All the while battling tears that threatened to come cascading down.

"He asked, I accepted. It just came at a really bad time" Lindsay trailed off, remembering the phone calls that she's avoided that night, the tone in his voice and the conversation after they'd locked the bad guy up. "I got the phone call that day, the one that told me they'd caught him. I didn't feel like doing anything apart from curling up in bed"

"So you didn't call him to say you couldn't make it?"

"You know Danny" Lindsay said looking right at Stella "He wouldn't have taken a vague excuse and left it at that. He would have been round at my apartment, banging the door down and sweet talking my neighbours into letting him in"

"It just shows he cares"

I just…" Lindsay began, searching for the words "I don't want to start something, when I'm not fully…"

"Committed?" Stella ventured and Lindsay nodded.

"Since that call, it's been at the back of my mind all the time. I'm not focused 100 on any task. I'm surprised it's not come up at work before now"

Stella privately wondered why no one had noticed the young woman wasn't at the top of her game, had they all been too busy with their own problems? Or was Lindsay just good at keeping things hidden?

As the waitress came over to get them a fresh cup of coffee each Stella thought, Danny would have noticed. Why hadn't he said anything? Surely Lindsay hadn't damaged his ego so much that he failed to notice that his partner wasn't right?

"I think I committed relationship suicide though" Lindsay said, breaking through Stella's thought process.

"How come?" she said, thanking the waitress and taking as long a sip of coffee as she could manage. The liquid warming its way down her body.

"I told him," Lindsay began before stopping to clear her throat "I told him it wasn't him, but me"

"Linds"

"The funny thing is though, that is true. Stella," she said looking straight at the woman sitting opposite her "I need to sort this out once and for all, and get my life back"

"That's the spirit kiddo"

"Easier said than done though" Lindsay said, placing her cup down after taking a drink "I'm going back to testify. I have to sit and face him. I don't know if I can do that". The latter part of her sentence almost whispered, but Stella heard.

"You listen to me Lindsay Monroe. You are a top notch CSI who, everyday, takes down scum bags like this bastard who killed your friends" Stella told her "I know it wouldn't be the same" she continued in a slightly softer tone "but you just have to get up there and tell your part of the tale. It's the only way this guys definitely going down"

Lindsay closed her eyes against the tears and nodded her head at what Stella was telling her. She'd been telling herself the same thing for the last couple of weeks but hearing it from someone else, someone she valued as a friend and college, made it really sink in.

"Don't forget. We're here for you" Stella pointed "Me, Mac and the rest of the team. If you'll tell them"

Lindsay shook her head "I don't want the pity. The constant watching, waiting for me to falter so that they can rush to my aid"

"They're your friends Lindsay, they're going to worry about you"

Lindsay sat back on the chair, head resting on the padded backing behind her, and closed her eyes.

"I just want it to all over Stel. I want to be able to look back on the good times and to look forward to the good times. To sleep through the night, to be able to do my job. To put it all behind me and move on" she said finally. Opening her eyes and looking at Stella who put her cup down and placed her hands on the table.

"When do you leave?" she asked, signalling for the bill.

"In a week" Lindsay said quietly, reaching for her purse but Stella waved her away.

The two left the café in silence and made their way back to the crime lab.

When they reached the glass doors to the ground lobby, Stella stopped short of going through the doors and grabbed Lindsay by the arm, halting her.

"If you ever need anyone to talk to Lindsay I'm here, OK?" Stella said, looking the younger woman in the eye "Not just this week and what follows, but any time. Right?" and a tearful Lindsay nodded before being enveloped in a hug. "We're going to get through this kiddo. Not just you, us" she said letting go of her and offering Lindsay her hanky.

"When do you want to speak to Mac?"

"A day or two before I leave. I don't want a big fuss"

"You wouldn't be able to sneak out if you tried. People would notice you where gone you know"

* * *

Later when Lindsay was sitting at her desk, she went over what Stella had said to her. She knew what Stella had said made sense. She'd been thinking the exact same thoughts for weeks now, she just needed someone else to say it to her.

She was still sitting at her desk, staring off into space, when Danny appeared at the door.

"Hey Montana," he said and she turned to look at him. A genuine smile graced her lips as she watched him standing there, case file in hand "We got a DB. You up for it?" he said, rubbing his hands together like a child in a sweet shop.

"Lead on Cowboy"


End file.
